I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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