Cold hands, warm shart.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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