wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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