I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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