Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize