moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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