She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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