Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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