You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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