i jhust puked up my retainher.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
