bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
