the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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