i jhust puked up my retainher.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize