i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
its not stalking. its research.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Randomize
