the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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