I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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