Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
