Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
