Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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