I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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