He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I am spending my child support on dildos
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Randomize
