I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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