you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
