That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
