I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
