Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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