they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize