Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize