Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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