Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
