The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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