dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
