Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
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It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
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although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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