O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
