Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
