I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
