I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
