idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
