We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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