what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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