After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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