Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
