I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
