My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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