I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
