We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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