Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i wish my penis had a tongue
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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