his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
