at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
