dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We are all done wearing pants today
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
