She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This is my gift to your gina
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
