i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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